me vs. therapy

 'you're beaming.'

 'yep.' Stare dreamily.

 'does that hurt, because it looks like it might be painful in your smile area.'

 'nope. i'm great!' Stare dreamily.

 'angela...are you on any drugs right now...at the moment....at all?'

 'no. why?' Stare dreamily.

 'because you're acting....well, odd.'

 'i met someone.' Stare dreamily.

 'i see. when did this unliklihood happen?'

 'august 12th at about 9pm. it was warm out, about 82 degress. i was wearing my blue boxers and snap, crackle, pop t-shirt.' Stare dreamily.

 'uh-huh.'

 'we met online. she wrote me an email. it made me laugh so hard i spit out my chinese food, but don't worry, the cat got it.' Stare dreamily.

 'hmm, well...it certainly appears to me that  you're happy.'

 'i'm ecstatic.' Look over at Satan, Satan swats at floating hearts and tweetie birds. Frowns.

 Look back at therapist. say: 'she's amazzzzzzing' Stare dreamily.

 'wow, well with 6 z's i guess she certainly is.'

 'i'd go on and on about her, but that would be annoying.' Stare dreamily.

 'more annoying than you constantly staring dreamily? i doubt it.'

 'right?!' Stare dreamily.

 'so, i trust that she has a laundry list of amazing characteristics, behaviors and beliefs?'

 'and she cooks like julia child.' Stare dreamily.

 '...good cooking is always a bonus.'

 'i think she might be like, exactly the perfect person ever.' Look over at Satan. Satan uses zippo to light floating hearts on fire, scorches pinkie, curses loudly.

 Look back at therepist. Therapist says; 'well, this may come as a shock to you...and the masses who read your blog (which i frown upon) but, i think in all my years of knowing you that i can honestly say you're more in touch with your wants and needs than a lot of people i know. so i'm pretty confident in your decision that this donkey is in fact a winning match.'

 'you said donkey. that means so much!' Stare dreamily.

 'since you look so happy for a change, i thought i'd help encourage you.'

 'you're awesome. everyone's awesome, life is awesome, even your fish and his trail of shit is awesome!' Stare dreamily.

 'how old is she?'

 'younger.' Stare dreamily.

 'how young is younger and would you please put a moratorium on staring dreamily?'

 'oh all right. geez.' Stare somewhat dreamily.

 'age?'

 'does that matter...i mean, really don't you shrinks consider that a non issue?' Stare somewhat dreamily.

 'of course. but, i'd still like to know her age.'

 'she's somewhere in her late 20's and she's an aries.' Stare somewhat dreamily.

 'aren't you an aries?'

 'yes.' Stare somewhat dreamily.

 'so when do i get to meet her for couples therapy?'

 'haha.' Stare somewhat dreamily.

 'hey, with all this staring dreamily someone had to step up and try to be funny.'

 'well done. hey, so i'm a little scared of getting hurt. any advice?'

 'people get hurt. you can't avoid it, so go out there and have a good time.'

 'wow...that's the easiest money you ever made off me.'

 'why, because a fortune cookie could have told you the same thing?'

 'well, yeah.'

 'cause that's what mine said at lunch.'

 'oh, you silly therapist. look at you being all witty and funny!'

 'it's a hobby. so, times up. keep smiling, it looks great on you.'

 'you know what else looks great on me?'

 'goodbye angela...'

 'bye therapist!'