me vs. therapy

‘well, i had promised myself i was going to be very strict with my weight watcher points.’

‘uh-huh.’

‘but i kept staring at the mac n’ cheese display.’

‘did you get one?’

‘no, i turned my cart around and headed to the vegetable section.’

‘that was a good choice.’

‘the vegetable section is right next to the bakery.’

‘or not.’

‘and there it was, right next to the banana display.’

‘cookies?’

‘no, worse. a homemade slab of cake stuffed with cream cheese-like filling from paula dean.’

‘horror.’

‘no, whore. i had to have it. so i took it. then i looked at it and all i could think about was how good it would taste in between bites of my salty mac n’ cheese.’

‘that’s a shame. What did you do?’

‘i rolled the shopping cart and my fat ass back to the pasta aisle,  and picked up the mac n’ cheese box. then i found the nearest garbage can and threw away my resolve.’

‘you tried so hard too….’

‘i can’t help it.’

‘most of you people can’t.’

‘what?’

‘nothing, continue.’

‘well, i got home, put the groceries away and boiled water for the mac n’ cheese. then i pulled out the cream cheese cake paula dean made me and lifted the lid off so i could smell it while i stood there.’

‘uh-huh.’

‘then i noticed that the wine glasses hanging over the sink were dusty. so, i decided to clean them while my pasta cooked.’

‘this is going somewhere bad.’

‘that’s what she said. i grabbed a wine glass and started wiping it off with a towel when it shattered in my hand and shards went all over paula deans cake.’

‘sigh.’

‘i know. i was devastated. i cleaned up the glass and stared at the cake paula dean made me.'

‘why do i think you turned the cake over and ate the guts out leaving only the top with the glass shards?’

‘because i did.’

‘intelligent. really.’

‘can you believe i have a checkbook and can pump my own gas and can fly on a plane alone?’

‘not really.’

‘it was really good cake.’

‘well i imagine so if paula dean made it for you.’

‘you know what else was really good…the mac n’ cheese.’

‘you understand that when you deprive yourself of special treats you only end up craving them more and finally, when you can no longer stand it indulge to the point of misery?’

‘is that a metaphor, because it feels like a metaphor.’

‘maybe yes, maybe no.’

‘can you ever say something concrete? maybes drive me crazy.’

‘i know. it’s interesting to watch you struggle. so, did you end up bleeding from the glass?’

‘maybe.’

Blank stare.

Smile.

‘aside from your new glass-eating hobby, how are things?’

‘umm, yeah.’

‘ahh, fairy tale is getting bleak?’

‘maybe.’

‘hang in there. you are very impatient. try sitting back and enjoying life. amazing things happen when you aren’t running around looking for them too.’

‘i don’t get it.’

‘i know, i know. just trust me on this one.’

‘you’re the boss. hey, next time i visit do you want me to bring some of paula deans cake?’

‘that’s very tempting but i’ll have to pass.’

‘you don’t know what you’re missing.’

‘metaphor?’

‘no. it’s just really good cake.’