me vs. therapy

'how was your zombie run whatever this weekend?'

'muddy. there was mud everywhere.'

'everywhere?'

'yes. in my bra, my ears, my butt crack, my nose, my vagina, my....'

'angela.'

'what?'

'i get that there was mud everywhere.'

'so much mud that it sucked your shoes off.'

'that doesn't sound like fun to me.'

'it wasn't really a run so much as a trudge.'

'interesting.'

'with intermittent bursts of sprinting when a zombie hoarde ran out from the woods. there was so much mud that it took us an hour and a half to finish.'

'is that a long time for a 5k?'

'it should only take a half an hour.'

'that's a lot of mud.'

'yes.'

'sounds miserable. should you be trudging with a viral infection?'

'i don't think so.'

'so?'

'i paid seventy five dollars to trudge in that mud. the viral infection was coming along for the ride.'

'i see. how are you feeling today?'

'a little sore. you know those stabalizing muscles that you use when you're like...walking on ice or like...through mud?'

'you say "like" a lot.'

'yeah, but those muscles...you know them?'

'the ones you only use once every 8 years?'

'yes those. they hurt.'

'uh-huh.'

'and my lungs feel like they're under water.'

'because they are.'

'right.'

'do you think you'll do another one in the future?'

'yeah...i don't think so. maybe like, something geared more towards the pavement.'

'that might be a good idea.'

'considering i'm almost 40?'

'well yes, and because you tend to have accidents. the less obsticles the better for you i believe. your sister and her friend were here to do it with you weren't they?'

'yeah, we had a really nice girls weekend.'

'that's nice. and how's everything else?'

Shrug.

'what, no dating talk?'

'can you date more than one person at a time?'

'i'm married, so i think that would be frowned upon.'

'i meant if you weren't married.'

'well, if memory serves, no. i didn't do that.'

'too hard to keep your stories straight?'

'exactly. why do you ask?'

'no reason.'

'that's a lie. but i'll give you time to screw up the courage to talk more about it later.'

'er, thanks.'

'our time is up. congratulations on the zombie trudge and remember to drink lots of water and rest.'

'uh, thanks.'

'and angela...'

'yes?'

'don't think so much.'