me vs. therapy

'you don't look so great.'

'i feel like i have mono.'

'kissing 15-year olds again? you know what i told you about that.'

'not to get caught?'

'exactly. so, how's life?'

'i've been dating this super awesome girl.'

'that's nice to hear. for more than two days i hope?'

'yes actually, like for a few months.'

'and she still likes you. that's great.'

'i know. i haven't screwed anything up yet.'

'well, don't be too hard on yourself, there's plenty of time for that.'

'actually, there's not. she'll be leaving the area in a few months for a job.'

'oh. how's that make you feel?'

'hmm...kind of like...unsettled. like when you know you have a huge exam looming at the end of the semester and it counts for like twenty five percent of your grade and you're pretty sure you're going to fail it because it's math and you suck at math.'

'i don't suck at math.'

'ok, well i'm sure you suck at something.'

'no.'

'everybody has to suck at something.'

'not me.'

'seriously?'

'i kill plants.'

'there, see you're just like everyone else.'

'so she's leaving and you like her. there's that old friend abandonment rearing its head again. think you'll be ok once she leaves?'

'no.'

'so?'

'so i'll eat a lot of pizza and ice cream.'

'sounds like a well thought out plan. i'll make sure to stock up on kleenex...the non-lotioned ones that you like so much. what else is new?'

'work is really slow.'

'how's that new?'

'it's not. it's just slow-er.'

'are you using your downtime to do anything productive?'

'no.'

'are you looking for a new job?'

'no.'

'are you napping and playing solataire?'

'maybe.'

'hmm.'

'what?'

'nothing.'

'what?'

'it's nothing.'

'what are you writing in your notebook?'

'lazy.'

'ha ha.'

'do me a favor angela.'

'why?'

'because i asked nicely. spend some energy, while you're sitting around at work staring at the wall, thinking about some next steps.'

'but i have mono. i'm exhausted. i'll start next week.'

'i don't want your excuses, i want a report of what you've been doing with your down time by your next visit.'

'ugh. fine. you're awfully pushy for a therapist.'

'you're desperately in need of a push. consider it a gift from me to you. you can thank me later.'

'how about i thank you now?'

'i don't want your mono-laced kiss, thanks.'

'you always beat me to the punchline.'

'of course i do.'