me vs. therapy

'how are you?'

'i'm alone.'

'oh no. what happened, you two were getting along so well.'

'she's not ready to date.'

'didn't you meet on a dating site?'

Blank stare.

'oh geez. angela, i'm sorry. this seems to happen to you a lot.'

'8 times actually.'

'really?'

'no, it's more than that. but, i only started keeping count 8 times ago.'

'well, i guess the only good thing about this is...'

'i don't have to buy her a christmas gift.'

'ok, so the second good thing about this is...'

'i don't have to shave.'

'the third good thing about this is, you've been through it before and can handle the circumstance a lot better than you used to.'

'gee, awesome.'

'i know it hurts and you think it's easy for me to say.'

'it's no sweat, really. i mean i've been wanting to catch up on my online gaming anyway. and boy...i sure have a lot of netflix in my queue to watch.'

'that's the spirit. how much ice cream have you gone through?'

'i keep the indian gas stations ben and jerry's supply truck pretty busy, let's just put it that way.'

'at least you're supporting your local businessmen.'

'they hand me tissue now when i pay.'

'that's almost funny.'

'it kind of is, especially since it's true.'

'what else is new?'

'i wore a tie to work friday.'

'ok. umm, i don't really know what question to ask after that statement.'

'how about, "why did you wear a tie to work, angela". '

'why did you wear a tie to work?'

'you forgot the angela. i wore a tie because i bought it the day before at the goodwill store for a dollar thirty. then, i went home and layed out a nice dress shirt, a vest and my tie over the top of it. i was very proud of actually planning out my outfit the night before so i didn't walk into work like a thoughtless cad.'

'like you usually do?'

'yes.'

'so?'

'so i walked into work and all the guys fell over.'

'is that right?'

'yes. i guess ties on girls are attractive. so, in light of all the attention i won't be wearing a tie to work again.'

'was it that bad?'

'yeah. it really was. i'd rather be an unnoticed slob.'

'i don't know, i think that look is creative and fun. you should go with it. and since when have you ever shyed away from attention?'

'i don't like guys attention when it comes from old married men that leer.'

'yes you do.'

'ok fine. yes i do.'

'when is your friend from michigan coming?'

'wow, that was a quick subject change. it was like what i do.'

'yeah. confusing isn't it?'

'yes. umm, my friend arrives thursday. we are going to have a midwestern good time.'

'does that involve cow tipping?'

'are there cows in connecticut?'

'a few. how long have you lived here?'

'apparently just long enough to date almost all the eligible but not ready lesbians but just short of long enough to see a cow.'

'well, have fun with your friend. i can't wait to hear about it next time.

'thanks therapist.'

'hang in there, she's around the corner.'

'sure.'