me vs. therapy

‘what’s with this whole glum thing you have going on?’

‘what?’

‘you’re sitting there with this long face, looking terribly defeated. and you’re all slumped back in the chair. it looks like your dog died.’

‘i don’t have a dog.’

‘yes, i know this. why are you a bump on a log?’

‘i had this dream last night.’

‘and?’

‘well, it got me thinking and now i’m sad.’

‘was there a dead dog in it?’

Roll eyes.

‘oh wow, that was quite the eye roll.’

Look over at Satan, Satan agrees.

Look back at therapist, say: ‘there was this girl in my dream.’

‘go on.’

‘she was really pretty but more than that, i mean even though it was just a short dream, i just knew that she was nice and kind and smart. and she was funny and confident. she was sure of herself and knew what she wanted.’

‘ok. what happened?’

‘she wanted me.’

‘and?’

‘that’s all. she really liked me. and she wanted to be with me.’

‘i don’t understand why you are sad about that.’

‘i was driving to work this morning and i thought about my dream and how it made me feel. and i realized that this girl was the only girl that i’ve ever felt wanted to be with me, like really wanted to be with me. ever. in forty years.’

‘and she’s a dream.’

‘and she’s just a dream.’

‘that’s pretty depressing angela. you know, i was having a good morning until that.’

‘uh.’

‘my coffee was the perfect temperature, i hit every green light on the drive to work, there were no emails when i got here and now you go and tell me your dream story.’

‘oh, i’m sorry. it was five whole minutes of feeling loved by someone other than a close family member who basically has to love me out of the principle of social norms.’

‘you’ll find it angela.’

‘and if i don’t?’

‘well…then hopefully once every forty years you’ll have a five minute dream about it to keep you going.’

‘sometimes, i can’t believe i pay you.’

‘sometimes, i can’t believe i listen to you.’

‘yeah, true. i do drone on sometimes don’t i?’

‘yes, but it’s ok. i have a pretty exciting inner monologue to get me through.’

‘you drown me out with your inner monologue?!!!’

‘i wouldn’t say that i drown you out, just muffle. i get the gist of what you’re saying after about two minutes, the other twenty that you go on and on about it i can use as filler.’

Blank stare.

‘sike.’

‘you can’t use sike, sike is my word.’

‘yes i can. i’m a product of the 80’s too you know.’

‘what do i do about my dream?'

‘love yourself as much as the girl in the dream loved you.’

‘i already do love myself. i’m bored with myself. i cook with myself and play scrabble with myself and jog with myself and eat with myself and watch movies with myself and take showers with myself and…’

‘you see, filler time started after the words “and play scrabble with myself”.’

‘ugh! you’re so mean some days.’

‘you messed up my perfect morning!’

‘you give me shitty advice and i’m still single!’

‘i’m not your dating service.’

‘what do i do?’

‘be who you are and forget about the rest.'

'how do i just forget about all the rest?'

'because it’s all just filler.’