me vs. therapy

'what’s new?'

'i’m seeing my best friend.'

'oh, that’s nice. how long has it been since you’ve seen her?'

'a few months. but what i meant is that i’m SEEING my best friend.'

'when you jerk your body around on the ‘seeing’ part, it makes me think that you’re trying to emphasize something…or about to have some kind of seizure.'

'we’re like friends but you know, not just friends.'

'so you’re trying to tell me that you’re romantically involved as well?'

'yes.'

'how’s that working out?'

'it’s really nice and really weird.'

'why nice?'

'she knows all my dirty shit and doesn't run away screaming.'

'does she know about your star wars habit, your video game addiction, your juvenile appreciation for that’s-what-she-said?'

'yes. she even knows that i have a dashboard duster in my glove compartment and dust my car when i'm stuck in traffic.'

'certainly encouraging so far. why weird?'

'i’m not used to not being afraid.'

'so you must trust her completely?'

'yeah. i don’t know what to do with that. it’s not typical, so i spend a lot of time pondering that and frowning.'

'you spent a lot of time frowning before, that’s nothing new. in fact i’d be more than a little worried if you stopped frowning. have you heard of resting bitch face?'

Nod.

'well, you have resting frown face.'

'some people find that mysterious.'

'some people like having sex while wearing a diaper.'

'you’re trying to squash my schtick.'

'you don’t have a schtick.'

'yes i do.'

Look over at Satan, Satan shakes head no. Look back at therapist.

'wearing underoo’s and playing with lego’s isn’t a schtick, angela.'

'you’re mean and underoo’s are really comfortable.'

'moving right along, or actually back to our original conversation, how did a romance happen with your best friend?'

'she saw me in my underoo’s and once she came-to after swooning she asked me if i’d consider dating her.'

'now that you’re done joking, what really happened?'

'i don’t know, it just kind of developed this spring the more and more we talked on the phone and emailed and mutually moaned about our dating mis-adventures. we both started to realize that being friends first is a super awesome way to start a relationship.'

'yes, it certainly can be. do you communicate daily?'

'yes. it’s pretty frustrating some days because i feel like because we live states apart that i’m wasting time sitting around in connecticut when I should be near her.'

'well your patience has always been shit, angela.'

'that’s not true. one time, i waited for….oh, no i didn’t.'

'give it time to unfold. you tend to get way ahead of yourself and then screw everything up.'

'that’s nice, i pay you?'

'i appreciate your candid nature and in so doing have become accustomed to being rather blunt in return.'

'that’s a mouthful.'

'that’s what she said.'