me vs. therapy

'remember that time we talked about me turning down that great job in connecticut?'

'considering it was last week, yes.'

'umm, well...i kinda called them back and accepted.'

'and then they laughed at you and hung up.'

'yes.'

'really?'

'no. they told me i was crazy and that's just the kind of person they're looking for.'

'uh-huh. so you finally got your backbone thing straightened out and you're moving out of rhode island.'

'ahhh, yes. one battle won.'

'but a war yet to wage.'

'what was that?'

'nothing. so, that's exciting.'

'yes, it is. i'm really nervous because i have this complex about failing.'

'you'll do fine.'

'that's the easy line everyone says.'

'ok, well...life is hard, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. try not to pee or drool on yourself and most likely you'll come out ahead.'

'wow. so that didn't sound much better.'

'you'll take what you can get.'

'oh, are we talking about dating now? cause that's what it sounds like.'

Therapist smiles. Look over at satan. satan gives thumbs down.

Look back at therapist, therapist says; 'how is the dating life?'

Blink.

Therapist blinks back.

Blink. say; 'yeah...that's about it.'

'hmm...well, i'm sure things will pick up now that you'll be living in the big city.'

'and if they don't?'

'you have higher buildings to leap from.'

'awesome.'

'well, i can't wait to hear about the new job next visit. until then....'

'don't pee myself?'

'yes...don't pee yourself and try not to tell any of those jokes that you think are funny.'

'but they are.....ok, they're not. got it.'

'good. see you later, gator.'

'bye toots!'