me vs. therapy

'how does that work....exactly?'

 'well, every time i go to the bathroom at work, i do push ups'.

 'uh-huh. are people in the bathroom with you'?

'it's a single stall'.

'i see. how many do you do?'

'10.'

'right.'

'more if i've just had caffeine.'

'hmm. so, aren't you worried about the germs?'

'i put paper towels down.'

'uh-huh. but, even so...the dirtiest place in a bathroom is the floor.'

'yeah. i wash my hands when i'm done.'

Blank stare.

'what?'

'i have to confess i'm really at a loss.'

'yeah, it's weird.' Flex arms...say; 'but my arms look great huh?'

'very nice. but the germs?'

Sigh....say; 'look, i put my mouth on girls in places that....'

'angela.'

'well, i've seen what comes out of there....'

'angela.;

'...and i'd be willing to bet on some days it can compete...'

'oh god...'

'with the bathroom floor.'

'well done. i'm no longer hungry.'

'and i don't use paper towels on it either...so...'

Blank stare.

'...you would be safe to assume that push ups on the bathroom floor isn't so bad after all.'

'how's your family?'

'and i don't get great arms from doing that to chics either....'

'your parents, did they make it back from florida?'

'you can't redirect me jedi mind master.'

Look over at satan. satan finishes push up, wads up paper towel, throws in garbage, smiles.

Look back at therapist, say; 'do you think it's weird?'

'weird is subjective. would i do it? no.'

'show me your arm.'

'angela, i'm not showing y....'

'sissy.'

'fine, here....see, satisfied.'

'nice...see that wasn't so hard, lunch lady.'

Frown.

Smile back.

Therapist writes note.

'are you writing down how hot patients arms are?'

'no.'

'are you writing down how to do push ups in the bathroom?'

'no.'

'are you writing down....'

'i'm writing a recommendation of committal to a crazy farm.'

'really?'

'no.'

'cause i'd much rather go to a donkey farm.'

'i'm sure you would.'

'but one where the donkey's are weak minded and easily manipulated.'

'by tone arms?'

'yeah...something like that.'

'well, i have to admit, it's been an experience this session.'

'same time next week.'

'yes, i'll see you then.'

'oh...i almost forgot'. Dig in bag, pull out magic 8 ball.

'is that my replacement for the one you broke 6 months ago?'

'yeah, sorry it took me so long.'

'i love it, thank you.'

'bye therapist.'

'bye angela.'