me vs. therapy

'what you have, angela...is an elevated sense of entitlement.'

'and i'm really funny.'

'and you think you're really funny.'

'so, what's with the entitlement thing?'

'what do you mean?'

'i mean, is that considered a problem?'

'i wouldn't necessarily categorize it as a problem, however it often leads the individual to have unrealistic expectations and therefore have the tendency to be disappointed, angry and isolated.'

'like when i glare at the dicks in line at the airport who dared to check in earlier than me and get to board first then take my seat in front with the extra legroom and take up my overhead space with their stupid effing golf clubs and a parka the size of Maine?'

Look over at Satan putting into styrofoam cup, Satan guiltily hides putter behind back, sits down and looks away.

'yes, that's a good example.'

'like when i want to date a donkey and she ends up not wanting to date me back so automatically she must be emotionally broken, mentally challenged or blind?'

Look over at fish. Fish is looking at poop trailing out of ass.

'that is another good example, yes.'

'like when i park my car in the ladies-with-babies only spot at the grocery store because i really don't care that you had another baby that's going to take up more of my oxygen?'

'yes, that's the kind of thinking pattern i'm referring to.'

'well, honestly i think you're cognitive therapy, therapy can kiss myass. it's not a sense of entitlement, it's they're dumbasses and i'm not.'

'that's judgment on your part. why do you feel entitled to judge?'

'because i'm awesome.'

'being awesome hardly gives you the power to wield judgment.'

'maybe not, but at least i know how to clean off my butt.'

Look over at fish with 3 inch trail of poop coming out of butt.

'is that a metaphor, angela?'

'as a matter of fact it is.'

'are you saying you feel most people are similar to fish with low iq's and excrement trailing out their butts so you have no guilt in judging them as inferior so you can justify your self-indulgent behavior?'

'pretty much, yeah.'

Look at fish....fish frowns, crosses fins.

Look back at therapist, therapist is smiling.

'what?'

'i'm smiling because your revelation guarantees you'll need more office visits which in turn guarantees i'll be collecting more money from you.'

'i won't let you break me.'

'we can turn this into insurance.'

'i'm not talking about money, i'm talking about will.'

'you feel your way of thinking is correct?'

Turn in chair, look at ass, turn back, smile, say; 'look, no poop!'

Therapist sighs, shakes head, writes notes.

'practice being normal, angela. i know it will be challenging, but do your best.'

'can you practice hiding your sexual tension, it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable.'

'i highly doubt there is any sexual tension and i highly doubt anything would ever make you feel uncomfortable.'

'you wanting me would....i think you should try it just so you could see me uncomfortable.'

'i think i'll pass this time.'

'what if i die before next time, then you'll never get the chance.'

'i'll take my chances with the chance.'

'bye elizabeth.'

'good bye, angela.'