me vs. therapy

‘what’s your problem?’

‘i’m glum.’

‘why are you glum?’

‘i just had a breakup.’

‘i didn’t know you were in a relationship.’

‘i wasn’t. well, i was, but not. i don’t understand it really.’

‘neither do i. you either were or you weren’t.’

‘we were but we weren’t committed.’

‘why weren’t you committed?’

‘she didn’t want to be committed. she told me from the start.’

‘ok. why did you stay? because from what i know of you, you like commitment. a lot. almost as much as you like oreos.’

‘i guess i stayed because i was hoping she’d fall in love with me and not want anyone else.’

‘i see. so you wanted her to change?’

‘no, not change. just only want me.’

‘which is a change.’

‘people change therapist! people think they don’t like onions. but then they grow older and one day they are at the chinese place and they order fried rice to go and a spring roll. and they take their fried rice home and open it up and put it in a bowl and flop down to watch a movie and find an onion in their fried rice and wow, is that onion really fucking good. i can’t believe i could go so long without eating onions. is this what they taste like? so good that i think i’m going to like onions from now on!’

‘you really think these things don’t you?’

‘why? am i crazy?’

‘i don’t like to use the word crazy.’

‘so what word do you like to use?’

‘that’s not really important right now. so, i assume she didn’t in fact like your onions?’

‘no. i guess not.’

‘angela. i know this is hard for you to understand because you’re blessed with this eternal welling of hopefulness. but, when someone says something, you kind of have to take them at their word.’

‘i know.’

‘do you? because while i understand that often people do change their mind about onions, you can’t be the one to shove one in their face and make them eat it.’

‘i understand.’

‘ok. well, i’m sorry about your glumness and i hope that you feel better soon.’

‘thank you.’

‘someone is going to want your onions angela. someday. Until then, enjoy your garden the way it is and maybe plant some more seeds.’

‘er.’

‘it’s a metaphor.’

‘i know. it’s just sometimes it takes me a while to get where you’re headed.’

‘i’ll give you a minute.’

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

‘i think i’ve got it now.’

‘good.’

iI’ll do my best therapist.’

‘i know, angela.