me vs. therapy

‘how’s the whole running thing going?’

‘eh, it’s ok.’

‘what’s your routine?’

‘i like…get on the treadmill and run.’

‘how far?’

‘until i can’t breathe anymore. then i stop.’

‘i see. that seems like a good routine.’

‘well, it’s not really. but i hate running so at least i’m doing it in the first place.’

‘yes, running doesn’t seem pleasant.’

‘it’s not. it’s something i think we’re supposed to do only in the most dire situations.’

‘like if a bear is chasing us.’

‘exactly.’

‘so tell me, are those running shoes that you have on?’

Look down at shoes.

Look back up, say; ‘yeah, why?’

‘they’re quite…orange.’

‘i like bright colors.’

‘yes, of course.’

‘what? they make me look fast.’

Look over at Satan, Satan shakes head no. Look back at therapist.

Therapist says; ‘you don’t need to be defensive, i wasn’t making fun of you. i’ve just never seen that color before outside of a crayola box.’

‘they were on sale, ok?’

‘i’m sure they were.’

‘not because they’re orange, because they’re last year’s model.’

‘uh-huh. well, as long as they are comfortable then that’s all that matters.’

‘is this a metaphor for the whole i-only-date-attractive-women talk we had a while back?’

‘uh, no. but why would you think of that?’

‘i don’t know, maybe because you think i should care more about functional shoes rather than attractive shoes.’

‘hmm, i could see the connection.’

‘really?’

‘no. but then again you see life through a different tint than a lot of people.’

‘you’re calling me strange.’

‘i didn’t say that at all.’

‘you eluded to it.’

‘no i did not. you’re putting words in my mouth.’

‘did you know that i went bowling this weekend?’

‘no. because you didn’t tell me up until now.’

‘well i did.’

‘wow. i can’t imagine you venturing into a bowling alley considering the filth associated with the balls and shoes in one. who’s the girl?’

‘someone i’ve been dating. how’d you guess?’

‘because i can’t imagine you venturing into a bowling alley considering the filth associated with the balls and shoes there if it weren’t for a girl.’

‘i didn’t win.’

‘of course you didn’t. you were probably too drunk to see straight since you get loaded off one and i’m assuming you had more than that?’

‘why are you always right?’

‘because i went to school to be.’

‘it’s time for me to go.’

‘yes it is. and just in time because i was starting to see spots in my vision thanks to your shoes.’

‘you’re hilarious.’