me vs. therapy

‘why do you keep rubbing your hands?’

‘they’re sore.’

‘why are they sore…wait, don’t answ….’

‘they’re sore because i got the new call of duty.’

'i don’t understand.’

‘CALL OF DUTY!’

‘when you say it more forcefully, it doesn’t make me understand it any better.’

‘it’s only a video game that a brazillion people like.’

‘you mean a brazillion adolescent boys and you?’

‘yeah. whatever. so my hands are all cramped from playing it a lot.’

‘it’s good to know you’re happy. speaking of, how’s that girl?’

‘the one i thought was special?’

‘yes.’

‘she wasn’t.'

‘ah. what happened?’

‘she cancelled plans on me. again. this time at the last minute. on a friday night.’

‘was there a good reason?’

‘would being tired from a long work week and traveling be considered a good reason?’

‘i guess if the one being cancelled on buys it.’

‘well, i didn’t. you know, she did warn me in the beginning.’

‘warn you of what?’

‘she warned me that she needed time and space and understanding.’

‘yes angela lots of people say that. do you know why?’

‘uhh…’

‘they attach that disclaimer to their dating personality so they can get out of any guilt-inducing feelings when they don’t want to be a responsible party in the dating relationship.’

‘like, when they cancel plans on me?’

‘yes.’

‘like when they change plans on me?’

‘yes.’

‘like when they want to spend a long holiday weekend with their ex in virginia instead of with me and they can’t bring me with because the ex doesn’t enjoy feeling like a third wheel?’

‘you didn’t tell me about that.’

‘i didn’t? odd.’

‘uh-huh. i think you didn’t tell me on purpose.’

‘because you would have yelled at me?’

‘i don’t yell. i would have made some suggestions.’

‘you’re a vegetarian aren’t you?’

‘why do you ask?’

‘because vegetarians suggest.’

‘she was a vegetarian wasn’t she?’

‘yes. she suggested a lot of things. like i turn the water off when i brush my teeth. like i use sawdust for the litter box. like i brush my cats more than once a month. like i consider not using a scrubby in the shower. like i…’

‘why shouldn’t you use a scrubby in the shower?’

‘i really can’t remember. probably because i was picturing her naked while she was suggesting it to me.’

‘you know what i don’t understand, angela?’

‘why i leave the water on while i brush my teeth?’

‘no. i don’t understand why you continue to break your dating rules.’

‘i start out just bending them.’

‘yes, and then the depressed girl who hates her mother and is full of suggestions is all of a sudden in charge of your heart. not a good place for your heart to be.’

‘fine. i’ll work on my boundaries.’

‘good. work on spending less time on video games while you’re at it.’

‘was that a suggestion?’

‘never mind.’